How did the volcano erupt in *your* life?

I had many plans over the past month. Then came the volcano. Everything went askew – including this newsletter. The mouth of the volcano, if you will, centred around Mothers Day.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen

An old friend flew home from Europe to see her mom. Post-volcano, she was able to re-book around Mother’s Day, joining her family in our hometown. Together, her grown siblings learned to love their mom in a new way, frail in a hospital bed. As their mom’s house was recently sold, we all spent time at the Black family cottage.

I am not drawn to battle of the sexes talk. I find it divisive and can even get a bit bristly about it. Yet, I got thinking about the role of mother energy in our lives. It’s capacity for connection and strength.  A wellspring available – not only to women. Its potential for business and of course, the business of life.

At work, this energy creates trust during a negotiation. Makes a referral that feels right. Enhances the client service experience. Cares about employees. Makes a client birthday call. Gets involved with a cause. Gives back. Sends flowers. It leads from the heart. Creates a safe haven. Inspires others to follow. Mother energy demonstrates strength and power, rather than wields it.

A Mother’s strength

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” – Agatha Christie

I think of my own mom, who’s lost so many loved ones and faced cancer, and remains one of the most unrelenting optimists I know. I think about a woman whom I was honoured to meet in April while assisting at a retreat. Not even 50, with five children and nine grandchildren, a fiercely protective nature and a life story which left me in awe. I also think of an executive I met at the same time, who sought to be more nurturing with his family. I am so curious to see how his worldly success will expand, in proportion to the growth in his heart.

Mother to yourself?

“I have a simple philosophy:  Fill what’s empty.  Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”  – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

However we may want to nurture others, we aren’t able to unless we take care of ourselves. This takes many forms. We all know this, but how many of us live it? Are you a good mother to yourself?

As my month unfolded among neverending client deadlines, computer crashes and other unexpected events, my body demanded it. At times, I felt so drained it was hard to form a sentence. When that happened, I stopped. Re-fueling for me became an imperative.

How do you re-connect? TEN+ IDEAS for you:

Do you meditate? Light candles? Sit quietly in your car before going into a meeting? Book a spa? Burn scented oils? Go for a jog? Do Yoga? Pet your dog? Sit by the water? Call a friend? Tend a garden? Schedule turning off your Blackberry? What a rush!

Mother love

“A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” – Dorothy Canfield Fisher

The two women I spent Mother’s Day with with are moms to children ranging from age 7 to 26. What I heard: “They don’t belong to me.”, “Teaching them to live without me is my job.” For these moms, motherhood is conscious, loving service in development of another. Even when development means allowing them to work through a struggle themselves. My own mom knew this, too.

“I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.” – George Carlin

In a world riddled with volcanos…the unexpected, unexplained and unapologetic, it’s the connection to what’s deep within ourselves that cradle us. Without it, we remain children at the mercy of those who would gladly drain our energy, take our power and make us slaves.

This doesn’t mean living in isolation. It doesn’t mean wielding swords. But as moms (and luvly nurturing dads) know, children will fall off their bikes. So when on scraped knees… it’s the heart-connections we make, the soul family we build, whose job isn’t to hide away our bikes as if we were infants, but who will lovingly support us as we learn how to ride ourselves. To help us, ultimately, to ride on without them.

Even with the frenetic, unexpected, exhausting events of the past few weeks and more to come… I have created space to be a mother to myself.

And in the process made a lovely discovery!

This Mother’s Day, at the wee cottage we’ve had for over 45 years…my soul family grew.

It’s spring! I’m puttin’ on my helmet and dustin’ off my bike. Join me…

- Karen M. Black, Toronto
MBA, author and karmic astrologer
Moondance: an addictive spin on life, love and the nature of reality
www.karenmblack.com

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